I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
