You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
