Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
