I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
