VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
