i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
