i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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