What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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