Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
