I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
