If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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