I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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