I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
