dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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