Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
