we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
