Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize