you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
