that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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