She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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