i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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