Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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