Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
