The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
