i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
