We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
