dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
jump out the window naked night went bad
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
