...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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