when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
