You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
