He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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