I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
