is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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