im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
