Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
