I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Success! We fucked roommates!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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