he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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