well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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