Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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