Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
