I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
