how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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