Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Found the puke drawer
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
