You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
