We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
