Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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