I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
OPIZZABONMYDICK
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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