I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize