remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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