In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
