Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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