the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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