Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
