I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
vagina is talking i cant
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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