is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
