my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
