The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
